Marriage is a Three-legged 13.1

This morning, I woke up to my husband jumping on top of me and pressing kisses to my face saying, “Wake up, we’ve got five miles to run before work!” I was less than pleased but I know it had to be done for my training plan. Oftentimes I find myself taking for granted the things he does for me because of the culture of relationships today. The whole ‘If he wanted to, he would’ debacle that has probably torn apart many relationships, maybe some for the better. 

He expects so much for me, he expects more out of me than I expect from myself, and I could not have been blessed with a better partner in a running companion but more importantly a husband. He runs alongside me, cheering me on daily. We face the trials together of exhaustion and poor decision making (usually on my part for signing us up for a half marathon only a week in advance), but he is also there for the wins.

His hometown of New Bedford, Massachusetts hosts a yearly half marathon and that is what we decided to do as a honeymoon because we are that couple. In between wedding planning and life planning, we were also training together. Each run was spent talking about the important things for the wedding but also the marriage. It was the perfect preparation for this giant leap that we were making together in December of becoming husband and wife. When we drove (Yes drove…another wild decision) up to Massachusetts, we stayed with his older brother and sister-in-law. Both were so kind and accommodating to their weird southern family who were wearing tank tops in 40 degrees.  

Our splits for the half marathon were in the 9:50-10:20 range for 13.1 miles. I hit a PR that day of 2 hours 15 minutes. I had never been to a Northern state before and let me just say, I think our miles are different. Around mile 9 there was an intense breeze that nearly knocked my balance off and at mile 12, there was an intense uphill. I could not begin to count the times I cried out to Joey, “Just go! Leave me!” (Very dramatic, I’m aware) 

  His response was, “If I leave, you’ll walk!” To that I thought, ‘Duh!’ But I did not want the shame of accepting defeat in front of my husband like that. What I realize now is that he believed that I could run that entire distance without stopping. Even when I did not. That gave me power to continue going and exceed my own expectations because of what he sees in me. 

“Two are better than one, because they have good return for their labor;

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. 

But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 

A lot of coworkers and friends see my husband and I and chuckle. I have to admit that we are chuckling with them. We could not be more opposite from one another. If we are served the wrong dish, I would send it back, he would simply peel off the unwanted item and continue eating. I could talk to anyone and anything that sits still long enough and he could listen. I am all eye contact; he would rather slam his tongue in a car door than hold prolonged eye contact. But he leads. He leads with such patience and understanding that it leaves me speechless (Which is not easy). 

I have seen men who lead their relationships with an alpha sort of mindset of bending their wife and children to their wills. He is not like that. He gets on our level; he hears me and explains his point of view. He is patient and kind and knows the buttons to press to motivate me. Yes, he is obnoxious but that is because sometimes I do not want to be motivated, I want coddling. He shows me I’m deserving of more than that, though. 

It is so important to have someone in your life to hold you accountable on your bad days but also be there to celebrate and uplift you on the great days. I’m excited to go the distance with him again this March when we both run our first 26.2 together. Although I have reminded him repeatedly to run his own race, I’m sure on the day of the race he will stay by my side all 26.2 miles and again I will tell him, “Just go! Leave me behind!” 

The only smiling people in Massachusetts :))